Separation Anxiety
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety involves intense fear or distress when being apart from someone to whom one feels deeply attached—most often a parent, partner, child, or caregiver. While some degree of separation distress is developmentally normal, separation anxiety becomes problematic when it is persistent, overwhelming, and interferes with daily functioning.
At Park Psychological Services in New York, we recognize that separation anxiety is not simply about “missing” someone—it often reflects deeper emotional needs related to safety, attachment, loss, and vulnerability. With thoughtful and individualized treatment, separation anxiety can be understood, managed, and meaningfully improved.
Signs and Symptoms of Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety can appear differently depending on age, life stage, and personal history. While it is often associated with childhood, many adolescents and adults experience separation anxiety as well—sometimes without realizing that this is what they are struggling with.
Common symptoms may include:
- Intense fear of being alone
- Excessive worry about harm coming to a loved one
- Avoiding school, work, travel, or social activities to prevent separation
- Difficulty sleeping alone or away from home
- Nightmares involving separation or loss
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or nausea when anticipating separation
- Repeated reassurance-seeking about a loved one’s safety
In adults, separation anxiety often centers on romantic partners or children and may emerge during periods of transition, stress, illness, or loss. Symptoms must persist for at least four weeks in children and six months in adults to meet diagnostic criteria, but even shorter-term distress can warrant support.
Understanding the Emotional Roots of Separation Anxiety
From a psychological perspective, separation anxiety often develops within the context of attachment. Early experiences of closeness, disruption, loss, or inconsistency can shape how safe separation feels later in life. For some individuals, separation triggers fears of abandonment, helplessness, or emotional collapse.
Risk factors may include:
- Family history of anxiety
- Temperamental sensitivity or cautiousness
- Trauma or significant loss
- High stress or major life transitions
- Overly dependent or enmeshed relationships
- Other anxiety disorders
In adults, separation anxiety may feel entirely logical and justified, even when others perceive the fears as excessive. This is why a thoughtful, nonjudgmental evaluation is essential.
Treatment for Separation Anxiety
Effective treatment for separation anxiety is highly individualized. At Park Psychological Services, therapy begins with understanding why separation feels so threatening—not just how to reduce symptoms.
Treatment may include:
Psychotherapy
Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
This approach explores the emotional meanings of attachment, loss, and dependence. By understanding how past relationships and experiences influence present fears, clients can develop greater emotional security and flexibility in relationships.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps identify and challenge catastrophic thinking, reduce reassurance-seeking behaviors, and develop healthier coping strategies when separation occurs.
Gradual Exposure
Carefully planned exposure to separation situations helps reduce anxiety over time, allowing confidence and independence to build gradually and safely.
For children and adolescents, therapy often includes parents or caregivers to support healthy attachment, reinforce independence, and reduce patterns that unintentionally maintain anxiety.
Medication (When Appropriate)
In some cases, medication such as SSRIs or SNRIs may be recommended to help manage symptoms. When medication is considered, we collaborate with trusted prescribers to ensure coordinated care.
Supporting Yourself or Your Child Outside of Therapy
In addition to therapy, supportive strategies may include:
- Maintaining predictable routines
- Encouraging gradual independence
- Practicing relaxation and mindfulness skills
- Modeling calm responses to separation
- Staying emotionally connected without reinforcing avoidance
When to Seek Help
If fears of separation are interfering with school, work, relationships, travel, or emotional well-being, professional support can help. Separation anxiety does not need to define your life or relationships, and meaningful change is possible with the right care.
Getting Started
If you or your child are struggling with separation anxiety, we invite you to reach out to Park Psychological Services. Our clinicians offer compassionate, developmentally informed care, integrating evidence-based approaches within a strong therapeutic relationship. We provide both in-person therapy in Manhattan and telehealth throughout New York.
You don’t have to navigate separation anxiety alone—support is available, and healing is possible.
Sources:
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/separation-anxiety-disorder